Wander Full
by poppyfields13
Summary: When Riley tells Ben how he really feels about him, Ben disappears, leaving Riley with only regrets. Slash.


**[Pairing]**Ben/Riley

**[Summary]**When Riley tells Ben how he really feels about him, Ben disappears, leaving Riley with only regrets.

**[Word Count]**2,100

**[Warning]**no beta!

**[A/N]** I realise this fandom is a little bit dead, but National Treasure inspired me to write the first fic I've written in over a year. It's nothing special but it's something!

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><p>There was a familiar knock on the door and Riley Poole opened it to find Ben Gates standing there looking sheepish. A suitcase sat patiently beside him. Before Ben even said anything, Riley knew exactly what had happened.<p>

"Abigail kicked me out." Riley internally smirked. "I decided not to bother Dad again after the huge fuss he made last time. I thought I might impose myself on you… if that's okay."

Riley rolled his eyes. "It's fine. Come in."

Ben heaved the suitcase through the door and left it to cramp up the hallway. He followed Riley into the kitchen.

"Coffee?" Riley asked, but what he really meant was: "Do you want to talk about it?"

Ben sighed heavily and sat down in the same fashion. "I just don't know what she wants from me. Whatever I do… it's always wrong!"

Riley frowned and refrained from the things he wanted to say. Like, "It isn't anything you've done, how could it be? She's always the one with the problem." Or even "Is she really worth all this?"

He didn't want to hurt Ben any further so he said the most diplomatic thing he could think of. "I'm sure it isn't a case of who's done what wrong. Maybe you just need to spend some time apart. Give each other some space, you know."

The suggestion was only a _little _bit selfish. "You can stay here as long as you want."

Ben gave him a wry smile. "Thanks Riley."

Riley turned away and busied himself with his coffee making. Sadness washed over his usually bright eyes. "What are friends for?"

#

It had been two weeks and although in the beginning Riley had been only too happy to have Ben all to himself, it was beginning to be painful in more ways than one. Not only did he have to listen to how much Ben wanted Abigail back, he had to listen to it being said in a _whiny _voice.

Riley had thought that out of the two of them he had more of tendency to whine, but surprisingly Ben was becoming a worthy opponent. Riley decided it was time Ben should snap out of it. "You know what it is?" he asked abruptly.

Ben looked up, confusion on his face. "No… what?"

"Abigail only gave a crap about you when you were hunting treasure. So why do you care so much about her?"

At first, Ben looked shocked. But then anger spread over his face and Riley instantly regretted what he had said. However, he couldn't take it back. He physically braced himself for whatever reaction he was going to get.

"That's not true!" Ben stood up, and Riley had never before noticed how much Ben towered over him. "How could you say that?"

Riley narrowed his eyes. He was starting to get angry too. "How can you not see it? Look, I'm not saying she never loved you… just that… She was only in love with the _exciting _Ben."

Ben turned away, he laughed, but it was forced. He clearly didn't find real amusement in what Riley was saying. "That's ridiculous. She loved me. Why am I even listening to this? As if you would know anything about our relationship. As if you would know anything about real adult relationships at all!"

That stung, and against his will, tears started to spill from Riley's eyes. "She didn't love you enough." His voice was barely audible.

Ben just glared at him.

Riley glared back as best he could; he pulled himself to his full height and said what he had been keeping a secret for the last four years. "She doesn't love you the way I love you. She never could. Maybe I don't know anything about relationships, but I know that much! I know I love you, and that I have always been there for you. I always will be, unlike her!"

The anger disappeared from Ben's face, and was slowly replaced by fear. "I know that," he replied in a voice unlike his own, completely lacking in confidence. "But Riley, that doesn't mean…"

"Oh don't even say it! It _really _doesn't matter," he exploded venomously.

But it did. He turned around so that he wouldn't have to look at Ben any more. And so that Ben couldn't see the pain in his face. "I'm going out. Maybe… maybe you should find somewhere else to stay."

#

He hated himself. He knew he had just lost the only real friendship he ever had, and was likely to have. But a part of him also felt relieved. At least he said it. At least Ben knew, and there were no secrets between them any more.

If Ben didn't want to be friends with him anymore then fine, at least Riley would know where he stood. Just maybe he could move on. Have one of those "adult relationships" Ben was talking about.

Riley's throat closed up. He wanted to cry so badly. To curl up in a small space somewhere and _cry_. But every time he thought he was about to a wave of rage came over him, and then he just wanted to punch something.

He must have walked for over an hour before he had calmed down. He was freezing and tired and the only saving grace of the situation was that he had his wallet with him so he could catch a cab back home.

When he walked through the door he instantly knew that Ben had left. He didn't know why he had expected Ben to still be there. He supposed it was because he always had so much faith in the older man. Now he had been disappointed beyond comparison.

He felt it in his bones. He felt heavy. He felt like his world had collapsed around him and he was completely helpless.

#

After several days of wallowing in his depression Riley decided he would just call Ben. He wanted to hear Ben say that it was over. He thought it was the only way he could get over feeling so abandoned. He just needed to hear Ben say it: I don't love you, and I don't want to be near you any more.

Riley tried Ben's cell phone first but wasn't surprised when there was no answer. He rang Ben's dad next, assuming Ben had found refuge there. But Patrick Gates hadn't heard from his son in over a week. Maybe Riley had scared him so bad that he had run straight back to Abigail, begging for her to take him back? No, she hadn't heard from him since the day he left.

Riley made several more phone calls to more of Ben's friends and not one of them knew where he was either. Riley was worried. He realised he must have really scared Ben off. The whole situation was just getting worse and worse and it was all his fault.

Eventually he stopped trying. Obviously, Ben didn't want to be found.

#

Months passed.

Then one day, Riley got a phone call.

"Riley? It's Patrick. Gates."

Without Ben for a common interest they hadn't spoken for months, Riley knew there was only one reason Ben's father would be calling him. "Have you heard from him?" he asked without a greeting, unaware that he was being rude.

Neither of them, it seemed, were interested in small talk. "He's been in an accident," Patrick said.

Panic rose up through Riley's insides, so fast he became lightheaded. "What? Oh my god."

"He's okay!" Patrick rushed on. "Well, except for his leg. He's injured himself pretty bad. A boulder of some sort fell on him and crushed it. Thank god it's just his leg," he added, more to himself than to Riley.

"Where is he?" Riley asked.

"He's in Moscow. Of all places. Emily and I are flying out there this afternoon."

"I'm coming with you," Riley stated. He was shaking, he could hardly comprehend that something had happened to Ben. His Ben, hurt, and Riley wasn't there with him.

"You don't have to do that."

"I do." He was going and that's all there was to it. "What's your flight number? Do you think I'll be able to get a seat on the same plane?"

Patrick gave Riley the number and told him to call back when he had arranged his flight. "You're a good friend Riley," he said before he hung up the phone.

Riley wasn't so sure of that. He felt a strong sense of guilt that Ben was even in this position at all. If he hadn't gone and told Ben he loved him things would have remained the same. And if Ben had really wanted to go and find some mysterious fabled treasure in Russia, then Riley would have gone with him. Things weren't supposed to be like this.

#

When Ben's parents picked him up to go to the airport, he didn't say anything about Abigail's absence. But all of them felt it, he knew. It really was over between them.

Riley seemed to be in more of an emotional mess than either of Ben's parents. Emily tried to assure him that everything was going to be okay. Riley didn't know how to tell her that he didn't think it would be. That all this was because of him, of what he said.

He could hardly eat or sleep during the flight. He kept trying to rehearse in his head what he was going to say to Ben when he saw him. How he was going to tell Ben how sorry he was that any of this had happened. How he wanted Ben to be happy, no matter what, and if that meant ending their friendship, Riley would do it.

They went directly to the hospital from the airport. Riley didn't even look out the window of the taxi at the beautiful views he had once longed to see. He stared at the road.

Riley practically sprinted ahead of the others when they reached the hospital, but stopped short just outside of Ben's room, having no idea what his next move should be.

He chose to sit on a seat outside the room while Patrick and Emily went in. He felt ridiculous. He shouldn't have come, Ben wouldn't want him there. He needed his family, not _Riley_.

"He's asking for you." Patrick's voice brought Riley out of his internal scolding.

"He is?"

Patrick smiled, "You sound surprised."

Riley was surprised. Unless Ben was about to berate him for coming, to tell him he never wanted to see him again. Or maybe the pain killers had riddled his memory?

He braced himself as he walked into the room, expecting the worst.

Ben smiled when he saw him. "Riley."

He held out his hand and Riley took it, dazed, as he sat down beside Ben's bed. Ben's leg was heavily bandaged.

"Ben," Riley started. "Are you okay? Are you –?"

"I'm fine," Ben said. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Really?" Riley tried to ignore the glimmer of hope he felt.

"I'm sorry for ever thinking I could do this without you," Ben said.

Oh. He was talking about treasure hunting. Of course he was. When was Benjamin Franklin Gates ever thinking about anything else?

"Oh yeah, I'm sure I would have been a great help," Riley said, reverting back to his old self. If Ben wanted to pretend nothing had happened, Riley could live with that. He had to, because he didn't want to lose him.

"That's not what I mean," Ben said. "I'm sorry I thought I could live my life without you. I don't know why I never noticed how much I need you. And I'm sorry I dismissed those things you said. You were right about everything. Abigail… and everything."

"I was?" Riley asked. He realised he wasn't being very articulate. His thoughts were all over the place, and the hope was coming back at a startling rate.

Ben nodded. "You really mean a lot to me Riley. I know I probably haven't shown you that, but it's true. And if you'll still have me, I'd like to try, you know… being with you."

Riley grinned, for what seemed like the first time in a very long time. "Of course I'll still have you. Ben… are you blushing?"

Ben looked mortified, but then laughed and shrugged. "I guess."

Riley leaned over and gently kissed Ben on the cheek. "That's okay," he said. "I think it's cute."

Ben rolled his eyes, but his smile was genuine, and all of Riley's insecurities melted away. He didn't want to rush things, he knew it would take time, but also knew that that was okay. He felt the safest he had ever felt in his relationship with Ben.

Finally, everything was right where it belonged.


End file.
